Involved Father

“Involved father” refers to a father who evenly contributes his time to both career and family. It sounds fantastic but not quite realistic. Our social norms assign different responsibilities to men and women. In people’s opinions, a man, or a husband should work outside to support his family, while a woman should stay home and be responsible for the child rearing. In this case, it is very common to entitle a woman as “housewife” but it may be weird to entitle a man as “househusband.”

In Gerson Kathleen’s article, “Dilemmas of Involved Fatherhood,” she points out that “economic, social and ideological arrangements thus made involved fatherhood difficult” ( 288). I think this argument is pretty new and interesting. Many married women complain that their husbands show little concern about their families. They (their husband) have thousands excuses to escape from their responsibilities of preparing dinners, or changing diapers with their babies. Thus, women blame all of this unfairness for inequality between men and women. There is no doubt that Gerson provides a new vision to see this inequality. In her article, Gerson interviews many fathers in different occupations. These fathers all agree that they would like to be “involved father” if they don’t need to worry about their jobs or salaries. They want to spend time on staying with their children, while they can keep their jobs at the same time. However, their jobs cannot accommodate them that way most of the time. Men are taught to be a supporter or a protector through socialization. They have their responsibilities of providing security to their families, no matter physically or economically. In this case, they have to sacrifice their family time because their top priority as a man, is to support their family economically.

Another factor that makes involved fatherhood difficult is discrimination. Similar to women who experience discrimination in male-dominated occupations; men are also discriminated in female-dominated world like families. Social norms consider “househusband” as stigma. When we see a househusband, we may think of a male nurse in a hospital. We may think, what is the problem with him? What makes him step into the women’s world? A woman may appreciate her husband’s nurturing, but she may not totally accept it. In this case, a man may not have equal chance to show his parental abilities. My aunt, for example, is not satisfied with her husband, who spent more time with his children than his job. Even though my aunt is a business woman and she makes more money than her husband does, she still believes that a man should not stay at home most of the time. My aunt’s expatiation on her husband to be a man deprives his right to be an involved father in an extent.

It is not easy for a man to become “involved father.” They have to take care of their jobs in order to support their families. In this case, they have to put their families aside, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t want to spend time with their families. Also, for the father who seriously treat his family, his involves may not be realized. Involved fathers should be well respect even though they are against their traditional roles.